Love and Obsession: When the Feelings Are Poisonous
You spend the whole day together with your loved one and you feel on cloud nine. But when she (he) ignores your calls the next day, you get anxious, angry, and desperate. This could be the symptoms of emotional dependency. Pretty russian brides from dating website are ready to tell you how emotional dependency poisons your life and why it’s important to distinguish between love and dependency.
You feel you can’t live without your partner. If you have a deep need for somebody who, in your opinion, could fill up the vacuum in your life, you are emotionally dependent on that person. You fantasize that somebody will come to rescue you when you feel lonely and desperate. That person will listen to you, support, and help you get everythingoff your chest – in other words, will be your lifeboat. But love has nothing to do with the need. Love is a mutual and healthy feeling and it can develop only between two self-sufficient people.
People disposed to emotional dependency can’t clearly identify the boundaries of their personality. They don’t know who they really are. That is why when they fall in love with a particular person they think that without him or her they are nothing and this is where they lose their identity and the ability to exist independently.
You want your partner to live up to your ideal. Every healthy relationship goes through the stage of idealization during which we want the object of our interest (the person we like) to be the embodiment of all our dreams and expectations. However, as the relationship progress, partners get to know each other, build trust, and begin to accept each other for who they are without trying to change one another. Healthy and dependent relationships develop in different directions. Being in a dependent relationship a person believes that chemistry or magic will put everything right. Being in a healthy relationship, people learn each other, constantly work on their relationships, and as a result their love grows leaving all hindrances behind.
You are jealous. Emotionally dependent people are proprietors that is why they are extremely jealous. Jealousy stems from the lack of confidence and often leads to paranoia. Dependent people often stalk their partners online, analyze their words, and constantly suspect them. The cornerstone of any relationship is trust. Of course, even healthy relationships are not totally free from doubts. But if you trust your partner, you generally believe him or her and then suspect. You accept the fact that he or she communicate with different people of the opposite sex. However, if you want a total control over your partner, this is the sign you become dependent and you are afraid to break free.
You think there is a mysterious connection between you. Your friends think that you have nothing in common with your partner and your relationship is a sequence of fights and resentment. But you believe that person understands you better than anyone else. Indeed, it is your unconscious makes you think so. Probably, your partner is also dependent on you and this dependency poisons you two.